Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.Marie Curie
Welcome back to the #mondaymusings segment- we are back and thank you for the concern! With all the travelling and work and wedding commitments we have steered slightly off track, but alas not for long!
In my profession I come across many different people from many different backgrounds and different professions, some at the top of their chosen careers and some just starting out. Many people always compliment me in my confidence in dealing with situations, public speaking and in general. I firmly believe in one thing, if you don’t have confidence in yourself and don’t give off a confident aura, why should they have confidence in you? Makes sense. Let’s be clear, when we talk about confidence this in no way is to be mixed up with arrogance, that is a negative trait to have and the two should most definitely not be confused.
I have to be honest, it was never a natural trait for me, I wasn’t born confident, it’s something I’ve learnt over the last few years from my University experience, to studying at the Bar and then in my professional career. Growing up I wouldn’t say I was bullied but I remember all the other children getting involved in activities or playing together and at times being left out, as a child this can be a very traumatic experience for some. I remember my mum coming to pick me up and I would conjure an elaborate story of how I had an amazing time! In hindsight I shouldn’t have but at a young age I knew I had to have confidence in myself in order for others to. Growing up during school there were many opportunities to go abroad, get involved in certain projects/be a Prefect etc and whilst many shied away from doing so I always mustered up the courage to do so. Why? If you don’t take the opportunity to do something then someone else will, many times in life do we give fantastic opportunities a miss and one thing I try to live by is to have no regrets. I went on to become a Perfect even though inside I didn’t feel as confident as the other girls, but I am glad I did.
At University towards the final years many of my fellow students went on to do the LPC and train as a Solicitor, I remember thinking I wanted to do something different. When I found out about the Bar and the minimal numbers of students they accepted I challenged myself to get a place on the course. I remember speaking to my careers adviser and in the most negative way possible she went on to tell me that I would never get a place. Luckily this gave me the ammunition to ensure I did and two years later I was called to the Bar. It was in no way an easy journey, early mornings, late evenings and juggling a full time job but I withdrew strength from the negativity and criticism I had received along the way. I was the only student on the Bar who wore a Hijab and was in a male dominated environment amongst fellow students who all had links with dignitaries, parents were Barristers or Judges and was in competition with Oxbridge graduates. It was a daunting experience but instead of letting it threaten me I rose above it and let it motivate me. At times when I would have to carry out public speaking I would experience severe panic and slight anxiety and think ‘maybe I should call in sick’ but I had to push myself. I got involved in different Associations and just spoke to anyone I met along the way. Believe me I am not the most confident person but I’ve been able to witness first-hand the amazing friendships and career relationships that have emerged from just smiling at someone or going up and saying hello. Just try it, you will surprise yourself.
I have written the above and very personal journey for you guys to give you the motivation and confidence to do whatever it is you want. No one is saying get up, get out there and be someone you are not, but even adopting the ‘can do’ attitude will totally change your lives. Confidence especially in a woman says a lot, it oozes sophistication and it shows that you are comfortable in yourself and allows others to trust your personal/professional qualities.
See you in next week’s post x
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt,
Samia is a co-founder and development director of Hijablicious. She will be regularly posting her outfits and sharing her love for fashion.View all Samia posts.