“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” –Albert Einstein
Have you ever come across someone who no matter how many times you go out to eat they will always choose the same item off the menu because they are afraid if they choose something else it won’t taste as good?
Change is inevitable whether we like it or not, it happens to all of us. From moving jobs to progressing from School to University and then to the workplace – change will always be a part of our lives. I remember talking about this very topic over dinner with a group of people and some mentioned how they were ‘scared’ of change and how they hated any form of change in their lives. It got me thinking why? Why are we so fearful of it? Many of us resist change because we feel too secure in our own little ‘world’, but how do you deal with it if it comes about unexpectedly? Its not so much the change that is the challenge, it’s the attitude that you adopt that matters. Look at caterpillars, their transformation into one of the most beautiful creatures is something to think about “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” — Richard Bach .
Recently when my sister got married it was a huge change, a change for her to adjust to living with someone else, gaining a new family, getting use to different habits and a new culture, at first it can be daunting, however she saw it as something new and exciting and with the positive attitude she adopted, she has been able to appreciate and enjoy the transition and change. Equally for us the change has been challenging and something we never experienced before. Living with a sibling who you constantly speak to (and fight with- oh yes! – no matter how old we are we love a good argument) it was hard coming back home knowing she no longer lives here and the house is very quiet, there was a large void (!).
Equally I remember when I first started out in the workplace I would be very daunted by the prospect of having to meet new people, work in a new environment and new location, this very concept was what made me feel too comfortable in my first workplace and prevented me from wanting to progress and looking for new opportunities, even turning down some prospects because I feared the change. I changed my outlook as a result because I recognised that I was not fulfilling my potential. Below are some lessons I have learnt over the last few years and factors which I hope are beneficial for you:
1. You can’t control everything- how many of us have a plan, a routine, and a target? Yes all of this is okay, in fact is fantastic to have ambition, however at times this can cause us to narrow down the prospect of change and opportunity. Sometimes life surprises us and that provides us with something even better than we imagine. Have confidence, do your best but remember not everything can be controlled and allow yourself to be surprised.
2. Communicate– How many of us don’t speak about our fears or are afraid of how we are perceived by others? If the concept of change worries you talk about it, sometimes discussing something is the best fear eradicator. Everyone experiences this now and then in their lives so you’re not alone! Talk to a friend, a partner or even a colleague. You’ll be surprised at the benefits.
3. Be yourself– Don’t pressure yourself into being a hero or being someone else. Its okay to be emotional (gosh I know I am at times!), its okay to cry, reflect or think about things, just don’t let it stress you out. It’s okay to ponder over something that worries you, but that’s it, do it for a hour or a day and move on, life is too short to waste time worrying and stress is one of the biggest contributors to a variety of illness’s.
4. Have hope– It shocks me how many people adopt such a negative outlook to their lives- little hiccups which happen along the way are perceived as the end of the world. NO. Life does not go as we want all of the time but things will happen, recognise and embrace that and remember there are worse scenarios and people are going through worse changes. Take stock and control and do the best you can, that is all anyone can do.
5. Adapt- some changes will take us by surprise and some will happen when we least expect it- consider how you can adapt to this change, how you can continue your life but without letting it affect you (if it’s a negative- if positive then that’s great!). By not adapting to change you will miss opening yourself up to some amazing opportunities.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” — Lao Tzu
*Photo courtesy of Aliway Photography
Samia is a co-founder and development director of Hijablicious. She will be regularly posting her outfits and sharing her love for fashion.View all Samia posts.